Cinderella “Almost Midnight” Top Hat

This satin-covered top hat decorated by Lady Woolthief captures the spirit of Cinderella. Topped with a glass slipper, this hat was created with fabric flowers, sparkly tulle, metal adornments, a pumpkin decal, and two clocks that almost strike midnight.

The top hat is approximately 25 1/2 inches around, which will sit on most heads. Size it to perfection with the 2 feet of hat foam tape included with each purchase. It weighs 15.3 oz.

All of Lady Woolthief hats are one of a kind, made by hand. The defining glass shoe was a singular find at a thrift store.

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Check it out here.

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Drabble #1: Tea Time with Lord Smithers

Disclaimer:

Weekly drabbles are written in an hour or less, lightly edited, and highly inaccurate to history. Enjoy them at your own risk. They are based off WritingExercises.co.uk’s Random First Line Generator.

drabble-1

Drabble:

His solution to the problem of having two children to care for was to find another woman to do the job.

Lady Woolthief dropped her tea cup onto its saucer and slumped back into her chair. She wasn’t sure what had made her date’s nose crinkle, the clatter of glass or her posture, but he was now looking at her with quite as much disgust as she felt toward the idea of raising his children. When would the men of her generation understand that having a… sacred rose did not make every woman matronly. This was the 1850’s for goodness sake!

“Please be careful. That tea cup is very delicate,” Lord Smithers said gruffly. “Hand-painted, one of a kind.”

“It didn’t break,” Lady Woolthief replied simply. She didn’t find this an appropriate follow-up to the proposal of marriage he had made not thirty seconds before. A fit of laughter, along with an admission of humor would have been preferable.

Lord Smithers grunted his dismissal. “Back to the matter at hand. I can give you a good life. You’d be living here.” He gestured around the grand parlor as if that was all she needed to see to make up her mind. “Biscuit?”

Waving away the silver platter, Lady Woolthief asked, “Why not just hire a maid and nanny?”

“This is the more economical option,” he said, picking up a biscuit without the slightest bit of remorse that he’d just told Lady Woolthief he wanted to marry her because she came cheap.

Lady Woolthief’s fingernails danced across the table in an irritable fashion, her lips in a taut line. “We only just met. You don’t know me or my tastes.”

His laugh told her he thought this was the funniest thing in the world. “This is what I like about you,” he snickered through mouthfuls of biscuit. “Allow me to correct myself. You’ll be cheaper than hired help, but living three times the life you could possibly afford making those obnoxious hats.”

The derision he showed toward her independence made Lady Woolthief smirk. Even if she were allowed to hold a higher position, she’d choose to be a hat-maker. Even if she condescended to marry him, she’d persist. She loved two things: hats and sheep. They were both symbols of her freedom.

“Now, Lady Woolthief. Let’s stop playing coy. We both know you are a woman of a certain age–”

“I’m twenty-eight.”

“Exactly,” he nodded, as if she was agreeing with him. “No husband. No children. No prospects, really, other than working in that hat shop for the rest of your life.”

“My hat shop.” It was small, but she was proud.

“You will never receive a better offer than this.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Lady Woolthief said, waving him off. “You already outdid yourself when you offered me a biscuit.”

Lord Smithers eyebrows knit together as he unraveled her insult.

“I need to not powder my nose.” Lady Woolthief said, swooping up from the table and heading straight for the front door. A draft of fresh air hit her face as she walked outside. She inhaled deeply. It had been stifling in that over-stuffed, pretentious parlor. Moments like this made her miss… She sighed, refusing to think his name. It was too painful. He had never expected her to birth and care for his children. He had never wanted her to be anything other than what she was. But he wasn’t in the picture any longer, and she needed to move on. She just wouldn’t be doing it with Lord Smithers.

Lady Woolthief walked briskly down the front stairs of the mansion, heading for the long road that led back to town. She caught a whiff of something and impulsively changed direction, heading for his fields instead. She wanted to check on Lord Smither’s sheep. Perhaps she’d smuggle one or two with her as a consolation prize for that awful tea.

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Movie Micro-Teasers

Article

Movie Micro-Teasers: A Short History of Trailers to Promote… Longer Trailers

Summary

Where once movie studios released 90 second teaser trailers to ramp up excitement for full-length trailers, they are now releasing 15 second micro-teasers to ramp up excitement for teaser trailers.

Lady Woolthief’s Take

Those who feel teasers for teaser trailers are wholly superfluous and silly have a right to their feelings… especially because those feelings are right. However, superfluous and silly things can be a lot of fun. Teasers for teaser trailers whet the appetite of those fans anxious for a glimpse at a project they may have invested a lot of emotional energy in, while those who have little or no interest can easily ignore them. No harm done.

Lady Woolthief is far more perturbed by the trend of monetizing trailers, teaser trailers, and even teasers for teaser trailers on video sharing platforms. One should not have to sit through a commercial to watch what is, essentially, a commercial. That is an example of something superfluous and silly that is not fun.

Conclusion

Teasers for teaser trailers are stupid, but fun. Commercials on teasers for teaser trailers, teaser trailers, or good ole full-length trailers are bad form.
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Instant Good Vibes

From The Etsy Shop

Instant Good Vibes believes in spreading love and positive vibes in your life through quality modern and unique art print posters. Ranging from posters, graphic t-shirts to mugs, choose from our wide range of collection to perfectly fit you interior needs at a highly affordable price. If you have any questions, we are just an e-mail away ūüėÄ

Why It Caught Lady Woolthief’s Eye

igv1Instant Good Vibes came to Lady Woolthief‚Äôs attention by way of the splendid tradition known as birthday presents. She excitedly tore her way through wrapping paper, box, and bubble wrap to find a nicely sized coffee mug. ‚ÄúBe the Leslie Knope of whatever you do,‚ÄĚ it read ‚Äď a motto Lady Woolthief, on the verge of embarking on this new business venture, wholeheartedly embraced. (Leslie Knope, if you do not know, is the feminist hero of Parks and Recreation, and the future president of the United States. Please stop reading now and go binge watch the entire show on Netflix or Hulu.)

After excitedly guzzling down several mugs of coffee, Lady Woolthief hopped online to look up the Etsy store that had made this stupendous, sturdy, studly mug, and was beyond pleased to find Instant Good Vibes offered a wide variety of goodies to suit the tastes of fandoms across the board.

Here are a few of Lady Woolthief’s favorites:
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Peruse their entire selection here.

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Turkey Chili

One of Lady Woolthief’s goals in life is to cook as little as possible. She’d rather be off making hats.

However, another of Lady Woolthief’s goals is to maintain a healthy lifestyle, which rules out eating at restaurants more than two or three times a month. Also, money.

Lady Woolthief has fortunately been blessed with her taste buds. Once she finds a recipe she loves, she can stick with it for years. Such is the case for Turkey Chili (or Zero Dark Turkey, as she called it when she discovered the recipe for her Oscar-themed party in 2013), an easy, veggie-based crock-pot concoction that can last her a whole week of dinners with generous servings. It would not be an exaggeration to say that Lady Woolthief has probably eaten 50 crock-pots full of this stuff‚Ķ and she still loves it. She has also forced every single one of her friends to eat Turkey Chili ‚Äď they all tell her they love it too. Some have even asked for the recipe. She has happily obliged.

turkey-chili

Ingredients

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