If you’re in the market for a fun, comfortable adult onesie, look no further than your local Walmart (words Lady Woolthief never thought she would type). This onesie is a great deal at $20. It even comes with a tacky, generic little witches cape that is not at all like those worn at Hogwarts – but for an Andrew Jackson, who’s complaining? The onesie is comfortable and warm, though it will assuredly start showing its affordability after several washes. Mostly, it’s fun. Almost too much. Lady Woolthief and her roommate, Nurse Hawtie, spent way too long making the below video.
During a pot-luck style housewarming party hosted by Lady Woolthief and her roommates, Nurse Hautee and Sister Night, guests repeatedly inquired about the delicious batch of pecan cookies contributed by Lady Woolthief’s mother. They had never quite tasted that delicate balance of chocolate and nut before. What was her secret?
Lady Woolthief passed the compliments and inquiries onto her mother, who happily obliged with the following recipe. Please note: As will be made clear below, it is unlikely the original deliciousness of Twice Baked Turtle Brownie Fudge Cookies can be replicated. Attempt at your own risk.
How to make Twice Baked Turtle Brownie Fudge Cookies
(as written by Lady Woolthief’s Mother)
Bake a batch of Betty Crocker’s Brownie Mix according to the directions on the box for the exact amount of time the box says.
When you can tell they don’t seem done, leave them in the oven for an extra 5 minutes.
After they cool, frost with milk chocolate frosting and top with chopped pecans.
Cut them into squares. Discover they are still a gooey mess and are way undercooked even though you KNOW you followed all the directions.
Roll the brownies into balls and decide to try cooking them as cookies. What you will have is a ball of cooked (supposedly) brownies, chocolate frosting, and chopped pecans in a ball of “brownie mix.”
Place a whole pecan on top so it looks like it was intentional.
Bake for another 15 minutes at 350 degrees.
Pop the cookie sheets in the freezer because you need to leave for you daughter’s party in 15 minutes.
They will still look raw but hey, who does not love sugar and chocolate?
Largely drawing from the experience of losing her best friend and pianist to cancer, Lindsey Stirling’s latest album is an inspiring tribute to the strength it takes to move forward after the death of a loved one. The violinist’s latest album is packed with songs that will make you dance, cry, and sing-along (several of the tracks are duets with vocal artists).
Lindsey Stirling is commonly known as the “dancing violinist,” as she became famous through a Youtube channel showcasing her dance moves in surreal, vivid settings. Keeping with the vibe of her channel, Lindsey Stirling’s Brave Enough concert tour is equally theatrical and entertaining. Lady Woolthief can personally attest to her energetic, often moving performance. Even with having seen her in concert three times before, Lady Woolthief was still captured by the pulse of her music and the powerful visuals Lindsey Stirling works hard to keep fresh with each new concert series. This outing, she incorporates spectacular costumes, magic tricks, and humor to keep her audience engaged.
Men and women, young and old – Lindsey Stirling’s audience is diverse and equally enthused about the work this talented, unique artist has brought to life. Each of her albums has elevated her music and offered something new. The original music she offers proves she isn’t just a novelty “dancing violinist.” She is a demonstrable composer tailoring this generation’s taste to instrumental music.
Brave Enough can be found in iTunes or at Target (the physical copy comes with four extra tracks). Lady Woolthief’s favorite song on the album is “Where Do We Go,” a duet featuring Carah Faye.
The only slot machine that makes losing money a winning experience.
Can’t afford Celine Dion tickets in Vegas? The gambling industry has you covered. Play $20 on the Titanic slot machine and you’ll likely have Celine Dion, belting “My Heart Will Go On” directly to you. The chair beneath you vibrates, the screen flashes as it counts out your bonus, and you are overtaken by the full sensory vividness of the moment. Lady Woolthief was once so overcome by the power of Celine, the people around her thought she had won a jackpot.
She hadn’t. She’d won $4, but it felt like she’d won a jackpot.
The Titanic slot machine moves around from place to place every so often, so you’ll likely need to search it out. It is well worth your time. Lady Woolthief rarely gambles, and when she does, she sticks to a $20 limit. Hours of endless wonder and joy have come from sitting at the Titanic slot machine. Generally, she plays with the minimum bet of 45 cents – a third class ticket, if you will. Catch the machine at the right moment, and it will give bonus after bonus: find the Heart of the Ocean with bonus spins, unlock The Safe with multipliers, Make It Count with bonus reels, and so much more! On an “off” hour, the machine keeps you engaged with “Mystery Features” that pop up even if you haven’t spun a winning combo.
Perhaps it’s naïve to think the creators of this machine want you to win so you can experience their bonus features, but Lady Woolthief believes it anyway. More than other machine, the Titanic slot machine feels like it has soul.
With all that said, the machine giveth and the machine taketh away. About half the time, Lady Woolthief walks away having tripled her money. The other half, she walks away having lost it all. Always, she walks away merrily singing, “My heart will go on and on…”
*Video and pictures taken during a recent trip to Cripple Creek, Colorado with Dorothy Books, a close friend of Lady Woolthief, who insists playing the Titanic slot machine was the highlight of their trip despite losing $40 on it. Another newcomer turned.
One of Lady Woolthief’s goals in life is to cook as little as possible. She’d rather be off making hats.
However, another of Lady Woolthief’s goals is to maintain a healthy lifestyle, which rules out eating at restaurants more than two or three times a month. Also, money.
Lady Woolthief has fortunately been blessed with her taste buds. Once she finds a recipe she loves, she can stick with it for years. Such is the case for Turkey Chili (or Zero Dark Turkey, as she called it when she discovered the recipe for her Oscar-themed party in 2013), an easy, veggie-based crock-pot concoction that can last her a whole week of dinners with generous servings. It would not be an exaggeration to say that Lady Woolthief has probably eaten 50 crock-pots full of this stuff… and she still loves it. She has also forced every single one of her friends to eat Turkey Chili – they all tell her they love it too. Some have even asked for the recipe. She has happily obliged.